Tag: homeschool

Homeschooling

The most challenging part of our new lifestyle has been and continues to be homeschooling.   I am no longer terrified of the prospect, now that I recognize that children are naturally curious and inclined to learn without some adult shoving information into them.  I see that there are opportunities to learn everyday and there is also no need to learn every minute of the day.  I still struggle with my personal need to teach my son discipline and grit through more traditional exercises that are familiar to my catholic school education.  Somewhere deep down inside I feel comfort in the familiar even though I know there are better ways to learn.  Old habits are hard to break, but I am committed to trying.

We vascillate between more structure and more play/exploration as we have limited resources in NYC during these times of Covid.  Our original plans included more exotic locales and experiences,  but now we have struggled like everyone else to transform our quarantine days into positive, productive and educational days.  We were fortunate that online learning in the spring was better for us than most in the NYC public schools, but the novelty of zoom playdates and classes has long worn off.  Perhaps it is easier for girls who tend to have better verbal communication skills, but my son needs to be active and interact with other children and nature through physical play. 

A constant struggle is screen time, movies, games and even reading apps.  They are the default when he’s bored or tired and sometimes we just give in when we need some time to ourselves. I am trying, unsuccessfully, to teach him to manage his own time. It helps that now he knows how to tell time and that now he understands that “time flies when you’re having fun”. I suppose I should consider those accomplishments and a step in the right direction.

We are also working on teaching him to be more independent. At first I could not leave his side during the day if he was not using a screen. It was impossible to get anything done. He could not get any school work done, eat and could not even play with his toys without me being within arms length and actively involved. Now I can get away with being in the room with frequent checking in. Prior to Covid he was very independent, making this need for attention that much more unexpected. I can only imagine what fears and insecurities he cannot verbalize. I am grateful that we have the luxury of being home with our son in these stressful and uncertain times.

Re-education

Being a mother is a full time job that I take seriously. I love my boys and I am proud of the individuals that they are. I feel my job is to support them and protect their individuality from the conformity that society prescribes. Honestly, I did not always believe that last statement. You can ask my first son who often heard me say “suck it up, this is the game we must play to succeed in this society”. This is what I was raised to believe, like I would imagine many of my generation.

Life and my crazy husband gave me a second chance when my second son was born almost 18 years after the first. I had the luxury of reflecting upon what I enjoyed about being a mother, what I thought went well and and what I would change. I was blessed with bright sons who are curious and interested in learning about the world. Honestly, I believe all children have these traits, it is just not always so obvious as with these two chatty boys who wear their hearts on their sleeves. I could not limit my younger son’s growth as I had the first, and I had to acknowledge to my older son that I recognized my mistake and apologize. My older son all but patted me on the head and said “it’s OK mom you tried your best” and re-affirmed my suspicions that the traditional education system in the US is broken despite him thriving within it.

Now I wholeheartedly protect my sons’ rights to individuality and their right to an education and a life that does not require them to conform to societal norms. That led me to find a project based learning school – The Hudson Lab School, that supports the individual children’s needs and learning styles. The children are encouraged to take risks, explore, make mistakes and ask questions. It has been a wonderful experience for my son and helped me to re-educate myself on how learning can be meaningful, engaging and natural. This has been a wonderful transition to the homeschooling/worldschooling that we will undertake while we are on the road this summer. Thankfully the angst over finding the perfect curriculum and teaching has subsided, because I now understand that learning happens naturally if you support an individuals curiosities and take the opportunities to learn wherever you are and in everything you do. I am actually excited to learn together and from each other as we travel, because as I look back the most important lessons I learned from my family and life, not in school.