Changing Seasons

As we celebrate Memorial Day, the unofficial start to summer in the US I am alone in St Pete, our home this year with my faithful companions Looper and Hunter. Not lonely. Alone by choice and circumstance. My three boys are in NYC taking care of things, and I have been consciously spending time with myself reflecting and planning. The physical changes in the weather, flora and fauna here over the last few months remind me that everything and everyone is in constant change. Plants that were dormant when we arrived are now bursting with flower and fruit. Birds are nesting and hatchlings are all around learning to fly.

I am slowing down and enjoying all of these moments and thoughts, trying to articulate in my mind how to share the beauty and peace that has come to me with my family. It is unfair for me to expect them to see the world as I do because each of us has our own path to travel in our own time, but I want to share with them all that I have learned. I want my family to know that they are perfect just the way they are and that the growth that they desire will come just as the flowers will bloom, when it is the season. We must nurture our bodies, minds and souls to support these changes just as the sun warms us and gives us light. We must be as patient as the dove who sits on her eggs waiting for the amazing transformation inside to bring new life into the world. And we must weather the cloudy and stormy days which give us pause and life sustaining water.

Unfortunately, most of us do not have this luxury of time or perspective. Our society does not support slowing down, reflection or “intentional living”. There is always something pulling at our attention and distracting us from what we really need to do. I hadn’t even known the phrase “intentional living” ten years ago, and it has taken me all these years to grasp what “intentional” really means. I believe it all starts with knowing your “why”.

Our goal oriented society tells us to have goals to aspire to. However, once you start exploring your motivations, your goals may change because the underlying “why” may not align with your initial goals. For many years I could not even establish my goals or my motivation, I just knew that I wanted more. I constantly felt that I was struggling to keep up, yet I had so much already, and still I was not fulfilled. Slowing down has allowed me to feel the discomfort as well as the joy, identify and accept them and their sources and invite more of what brings peace and joy into my life. When in doubt, pay close attention to what you are feeling because feelings are a reflection of your thoughts. Once we look objectively at our thoughts we gain insight and make choices that are less reactive and more in line with what we really want.

These days I appreciate the journey more and worry less about the destination. I know that I am exactly where I need to be at this point in time and life will take me where I need to be. I trust that the solutions to situations will come to me when they arise because I will be ready for them and I will listen. There is a confidence and a steadiness that comes from deep within myself that I have never experienced before and which I wish for everyone.